Social-psychological problems of the teenagers with divorced parents

Abstract

Divorces are a common occurrence in everyday conjugal life.
During the recent years, the curve of divorces has been rising in our country. It is growing the number of women seeking to separate and divorce. The situation is the same in all environments, but it is rather a greater problem in large urban centers.
As a social phenomenon, divorce has a negative impact, not only to parents (the couple), but also to their children.
The teenagers, who have experienced the separation of parents in this period, are more sensitive. They are at an age to understand the consequences of separation. They are grown up and feel themselves to be humiliated before their fellow-mates. They have talked highly about their parents and now do not know what to say. They are at the age that they need more advice, suggestions and support of both parents but now one was missing.
The separation of parents, especially for the grown up children, leaves indelible impressions. They describe deeply painfully this moment. To experience the breaking of the marriage of your parents may be one of the most painful things that can be imagined.
Teenagers see that the separation is normal and acceptable, when parents shout, argue, quarrel, and even blow fist-shots at each-other. For them it would be better so, because each parent might be happy.
Adolescents, with divorced parents, always see in their dreams moments in life when their parents were living together and events related with their parents, although now separated.
It happens exactly what Freud explains: “Symbolic dream images hide in most cases, constrained or unfulfilled desires, which, not being realized during the day, try to enter our lives through the path of dreams.”
Children, who suffer such family traumas, like the nature and describe it beautifully. They love birds and house animals (cats, dogs). By playing with animals, they remove their stress. They wait anxiously for their father to come and get them. They go with him to his people to have lunch or dinner somewhere out, discussing and passing good moments with them. They are more associated with the grandmother and grandfather, uncles and aunts of the parents they do not live with.
Mothers are generally colder and more distant from their children when they are not with them, but live with their fathers.
When the divorce has happened years ago and one of the parents has been married, it lacks the interest for his child, who he/she is not living with.
The second marriage of one of the parents destroys the child’s hope that they would come together again one day. Children have difficulty to live with the idea of a new partner for their parent.
Teenagers react differently with the parent that they do not live with, when they come to school; it depends on the relationships they have with them out of school and the relationship of the couple that is itself divorced.
When they do not feed them with hatred for each other (despite being separated), but educate with love for father or mother and they wait with pleasure meeting with him/her (In 35.8% of cases); little for a civilized society.
This shows that generally the relations between husband and wife when they divorce, are strained, it lacks the understanding between them and this affects the children (depending on which of them live with).